Much needed.

Hi everyone! It’s been a really long time since i pushed content here.

Last year when i came back i told myself that i wanted to take the year off from travelling, to relax, collect my thoughts and simply be someplace peaceful where i can reflect and process all the amazing things that has happened.

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house squad

So for the past year i’ve been sort of indulging in a lot of meditation! Being the scatterbrain that i am, Its a bit of a challenge to untangle my thoughts. It’s sort of like trying to follow a single shoelace among a ball of tangled shoes. It’s really noisy in there to be honest. But I’m learning a lot so it’s kind of fun.

For example, i used to think that i really sucked at art in general. I don’t know how to put ideas into paper so whenever i draw, its always a far cry to all the ideas in my head and its always a discouraging fact. So i tried to clear my mind and figure out why. Well eventually the more i got to know my my mind works, the more i realise that it’s because i’m doing art all wrong.

Give me a white piece of paper and i wont make a scratch. I become overwhelmed by the potential, but then i realise that if i work backwards, start with a noisy piece and start reducing it, i can actually start to form ideas that becomes more concrete as i go on. So in a way, as i start to reduce the creative potential, an underlying idea grows. It’s kind of hard to explain really, but i’ve been doing a lot of carving lately and i think it really compliments my thought process.

Writing is also another way for me to follow an idea to completion. I think it’s been about a year now since i stopped carrying a phone, and started carrying a pocket notebook. It helps me reduce my thoughts instead of grow them.

Anyway, I’ll end it here before i go off on a tangent. I realise that even writing this post i had to alway remind myself what i was talking about. haha. I’ll try to write a few posts about my reflection period before the i start the summer, and completely get lost in the throws of life.

love,

Fahmii.

 

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Acceptance

Guess what, i’ve got my offers already!

well i’m still waiting on Royal Holloway but to be honest, i think i’ve made my decision already. I think my firm is going to be Hull university with an insurance of Aberystwyth. (i know it says conditional but hull just wants a copy of my certs and aber just needs a deposit)

Basically, how i came to that conclusion is, Hull seems to be the place i would hate the least! Royal is dead struck in london so that would be expensive and i’d like to save my kidney for a rainy day. Stirling wants me to take IELTS even-though i’ve gotten A1s for my O level english twice. Plus the weather is shit and its in the middle of nowhere.

“in the middle of nowhere, shit happens”

Aber seems to be a good place but its too high North for my taste. They did send me a personal handwritten letter complimenting my Personal Statement and telling me how i’d fit in well. But as i was choosing universities, Hull has always been in my top five from the start so no regrets.

I am worried about leaving, and how it’ll impact my relationship with Bibi. I know if you care about someone enough, this won’t pose that difficult of an obstacle but it still bums me out thinking about it. I really wish we could end up studying somewhere close that would solve everything.

work has been smooth sailing lately. I basically finished a month worth of episodes a week ago and Royy came back to work so thats a lot of work off my back. It feels as though for the past month, i’ve been doing all the grunt work and i’m glad that’s over.

I did have to do an impromptu report today. Royy was supposed to do the Wednesday Belait report but he had a doctors appointment so i had to swoop in and be the hero and do the report. I swear i’m almost not nervous anymore going on air.

-vuxpyra//