Where really am I?

Guten tag freunde,

I feel like there’s a shift happening in my life right now. Which shouldn’t come to a surprise normally but usually the changes are tangible. Like who I’m with, where I am, what I carry or where in the world I’m going, while as a person I only grow and change incrementally.

In the past week I feel completely different however. I went to a couch surfing gathering last night because I like to go to as many of them when I’m travelling to meet people, but last night was the first that I didn’t enjoy.

It’s not so much the whole dynamic of the gathering has changed, but I think I might have overgrown the crowd. I used to feel like I belonged because I backpack around and couch surf occasionally but I felt a barrier between me and them and it’s possibly a self induced barrier.

Those types of travellers used to fascinate me so much. Where are they going and what are they doing and what are they seeing? These used to be the questions I would ask.

My journey now has taken a huge turn though. It’s been two years since I left home and one year of being homeless and I was wondering how I’ve benefited from it all and the only thing different is I have stories to tell now. But what about the whole self development I was looking for? The whole purpose of the journey? Have I made much progress in growing up as a person? Sadly I feel like I haven’t and the whole two years have been mostly in vain.

But now after coming out of the rainbow gathering, I feel like I just crossed over to a more deeper spiritual purpose in my travels where I don’t even care where I’m going but rather, how it helps me as a person. In that sense I think I have actually started the process of severing the ties between me with the tourists and backpackers.

I’ve learnt a lot about the world but in the excitement I forgot to learn about my place in the world.

Regards,

Fahmii

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