I don’t use the word hate liberally. I save that for when someone dangerously misuses a roundabout, cuts in line or when someone blocks my car and such. Things that really boil your blood.
I think the thing that takes the cake is when someone gets mad at me for something that isn’t my fault. I had to deal with that a lot when my parents got divorced and I really really hate the feeling. I remember back when my parents were about to get divorced, I was playing outside with my little brother and I ended up riding one of those tiny cars for toddlers. my ass was sunk into the seat while my legs were hanging out at the side since my legs were too big to fit into the little hole for the legs. My brother was pushing me around purposely pushing me towards walls and trees. My mum saw from the window and I don’t know if she was having a bad day or something but she got really really angry. something about me being too old and how im childish and other things I prefer not to mention.
It was totally uncalled for and I felt like complete shit. I went into my room, cried and didn’t come out for days. I threw fits whenever I can. In my room I wrote things like ‘unwanted’ and ‘depression’ on my garbage can because that’s where I felt I belonged. I stuck on my wall so many post-its which together reads out all my discontent and hatred I could’ve written a short book. It looked like my walls were peeling off.
i was such an emo kid back then. I’m still quite emotional actually but I’ve learned to suppress my emotions. At least to the best I can. I’m only human.