confined by conformity

So you know what has been really been occupying me lately? no its not games or TV or any of those materialistic things.

Its life.

I might’ve said this before but back in secondary, life was never this difficult.. in the sense that things were always set in front of you. It was a given that you would take the PMB exam and O level exam and your goal was just an armsreach away. All we need to worry about was getting good grades and not doing drugs.

Going into sixth form, all that ‘as long as i know my ambition and strive for it’ confidence diminishes and you realise life isn’t really that simple. The thing about the way things are is that we Bruneians, we think in a very ‘Bruneian’ way and we have this protocol for everything including the educational system.

We grow up, we take our PMBs, O levels, A levels and if youre lucky you get a scholarship and if youre unlucky you stay in Brunei. Maybe get a job completely unrelated to your dreams, then realise how important money is and then just continue working, going through just a handful of partners before settling down and then maybe get married before even reaching 30. Then you’ll become a pretty middle-class family and have loads of children and send them to government school and one day telling them that sometimes dreams arent as important as we think. No offense but most people pretty much becomes their own parents really. Maybe not even, considering the increasing divorce rate in Brunei.

What im heading for is, its all very generic. We base all our hopes and dreams on our education and scholarships but thats a really heavy gamble i think and it really leaves a small window for people to get through to. Kind of unfair if you ask me because the common man will not be able to get straight As and get a scholarship and they will then be forced to continue the Bruneian way of life of being a tool for the oil company instead of an inspiration of dreams(okay that was totally uncalled for).

futurama

..or become a servant for the government.

Probably only a small percentage of the population actually reach their ambition and i quite doubt it simply takes textbook learning to reach it. This is exactly what I think this is the root of all my problems. I was never one to give much of a damn about getting distinctions and getting As til this year when i realised that unlike O levels, if i don’t do well in my A levels il pretty much hit a dead end.. BUT AHA

I figured the only way to avoid the pitfalls of our educational system was simply to avoid it. Yes, the idea is to retract yourself from the educational system entirely if possible and thus you wont have to conform to the very dull status quo of our Bruneian educational system. I know this is a crazy idea but that’s just what i need. I just need a big change right now and to take charge of my life and this is by far the best plan i have so far came up with. il explain myself in the next post.

Don’t get me wrong, im proud being a Bruneian its just that i cannot, i repeat cannot achieve my ambitions if i stay here.

P.S: il post pics of kittens after they hit 4 weeks.

-vuxpyra//

futurama
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