So school is going to open next Monday and im like totally psyched about that. I’ll probably start blogging again after that since im only currently stuck with the holiday lazy bug. It’s funny sometimes.. it feels like my mind is slowly deteriorating as all the things i used to think about, suddenly disappears. I can’t even portray stories in my mind which is such a hindrance to my ability to write.
I’ve like a dozen essay text files on my pc and non of them are finished. I would write a paragraph or maybe two and then…. nada.
like this one for example..
I stripped down to my underwears as fast as my shivvering hands could move. Just unbuckling my pants seemed an incredible feat when you cant seem to control your shaking hands. Nontheless, the image of death seemed imminent if i stayed in my wet clothes any longer than i already have. I was afraid to die like this. To die naked on the floor in a cold empty locker room.
“I don’t.. want.. to die…..” i barely managed to whisper to myself as tears started to flow down my face further cooling my icy skin.
I looked around me, and saw myself in the floor-to-cieling mirror on the wall 20-feet away from where im struggling with death. I could honestly say i looked dead with my ghost pale skin coupled with my ice cold feel if i wasnt shaking uncontrollably.
I had so much to live for to die at such a feeble age of 17.
I wrote that a while ago and now im pretty sure i wont be continue it anytime soon.
I can’t wait for the first day of school as I always see it as a bit of an adventure every year. Even if its the same old boring school, i tend to pick out those tiny little changes from the previous year such as different seatmates, different teachers or maybe even a new classmate if we’re lucky. Maybe it’s because im just trying to fool myself into thinking this year will be better than the last. and these tiny things help me do that by actually giving me a base to differentiate from previous years. This year will be a heck of a lot bigger adventure since EVERYTHING will be different. What im trying to say is.. i like routine transitions.
I remember this thing my student counselor told me and a couple of my friends last year,
“If you dont plan to study and go to form 6 for your future or even your parents, then please…pleasee lah…do it for the girls in form 6”
and then she’ll go like,
“Form 6 girls ah. chehh.. BESSST, much prettier than the girls here bahh. Lupa tarus kamu scandel scandel form 2 form 3 kamu tuu. masih anak damit tu mun banding dengan form 6 girls.”
eheh. That’s how she convince us guys to further our studies but its like, her convincing is seriously overkill. I mean while listening to her talk, my mind kind of drifted to a daydream that when i enter form6 all the girls would be supermodel sexy under their uniform and then during breaktime, everyone would break out into a very very sexy dance party in the cafeteria. The only weird part is, my cafeteria looks exactly like the one in HighSchoolMusical.
and ironically, im the only guy in my daydream. ;p