comic from http://www.qwantz.com
‘I love You”
Someone recently asked me a question about the phrase ‘i love you’ and how it affects guys and girls. Those 3 little words that girls usually need to hear them to feel as though the relationship is going somewhere but some girls don’t know how much stress those 3 words can cause to a guy.
I have had long-term relationships in the past and loved every single girl but they never really loved me back until I met my current partner. She is always telling me she loves me but I just can’t say it back. I don’t understand why.
English Major Seeks Three Little Words
On a second date with a woman I was surprised that she decided to ask me the most difficult question that you could ask a man. She asked “Do you love me?” I paused for a moment to figure out what I was going to say. Do I lie and say yes? or do I tell the truth and say no, is this a loaded question with no correct answer I was thinking?
I collected my thoughts and said “I don’t know yet, this is only our second date”. This came from my heart and was the truth, I could not possibly tell a woman on the second date whether I love her or not. Asking me just creeped me out completely and put me in an awkward position, where I did not know what to say. Her manner just completely changed when I gave my reply, all of a sudden she just went into a stroppy mood. In the end she just ended up walking out.
My boyfriend of over two years, who I know cares about me deeply, cannot say those three words that I always thought were a necessity. My boyfriend cannot say to me, “I love you.” I know he loves me. So why can’t he say it?
These are some examples of dilemma’s involving the absence of those 3 little words which you are able to see are usually from the guy partner so i’ll just be covering that part of the whole situation.
* There are men that will say “I love you” just to please you, when they don’t mean it.
* There are men that will say “I love you” and mean it.
* There are men that won’t say “I love you” because they can’t say it with meaning.
* There are men that won’t say “I love you” because they find it too difficult to say those words.
Breaking down I love you would simply give you the words ‘i’ ‘you’ and ‘love’. As some of you may notice, Some guys are able to say ‘love’ to you individually because it doesn’t carry the emotional load when you give them if the form of ‘i love you’. If you haven’t notice, guys use this to get out of saying i love you while still giving you the idea that he does. A loophole through your heart to summarize it.
Then there are guys who are just verbally incapable of saying such words. In Japanese culture, people do not tell each other “i love you”. they believe your actions are what expresses your love. any one can say “i love you”, but to live it, is quite another.
Some men don’t say i love you because i love you means being committed and how would you or your guy know if you guys will stay together for the rest of your life? so that’s why some men would only say i like you till they finally marry you or would get close to the point. I love you is technically just like telling someone i will ALWAYS be there for you and these guys don’t really like to make promises they aren’t sure they are able to keep. It would have signaled a new era in the relationship. That by itself is already a huge load within 3 simple words that unless the person is committed, he or she would try to avoid.
‘I love you’ also brings the uncertainty of you feeling the same way
I know my partner loves me even though he isn`t comfortable saying those three little words but when he does occasionally say them now (after six years together) they mean the world and more to me.
If he says that he can’t reply your ‘ i love you’, at least he is being honest. He does not want to say “I love you” because he is confused and because he thinks he won’t mean it. At least if he says “I love you” in the future you know he means it! That ‘i love you’ is the one you should appreciate instead of some ‘i love you’ from some guy you’ve only been with for 2 weeks or so whose only using it to woo you without actually meaning it. From personal experience, i think these people actually mean ‘i lust you’ which is technically a hollow ‘i love you’.
You don`t have to say ILY all the time as it will probably mean more if you don`t. The other thing is that perhaps you are subconsciously guarding yourself from the hurt if you have given love before but not got any back. The mind can do things like that without us even realizing it at the time. But don’t be discouraged if your partner isn’t able to tell you he or she loves you. Don’t push the topic too deep too i suggest as ‘i love you’ is a huge pressure on your back especially someone keeps pressing it which might end up with him or her leaving you due to the unbearable pressure. I suggest mentioning it once or twice every now and then and if love has it’s way, he or she will one day say those 3 little words to you when they’re ready and sure.
People should really implement a course studying ‘i love you’. Though that would probably require a text book that’s more than 12 inches thick. Though if you actually are experiencing the ‘i love you’ dilemma, i suggest you find a more comprehensive explanation than this post because what do i know?..I’m merely a teenager who himself has difficulties verbally saying those 3 little words. In no way am i suggesting that everything i wrote is true to all guys. Sometimes it probably is love at first sight. Whatever it is, i wish you all the best with love.