Oh, i believe in yesterday..

THIS IS THE WORST FUCKINGG WEEK EVERRRR!!!!!!! FUCKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I NEED TO EMPHASIZE ON THE ‘WORST FUCKING’ BECAUSE IT’S ACTUALLY WORSE.
I hate the second week of April now. i seriously fucking do……
I’m listening to the beatles so those of you who had can imagine so fucked up i feel….

I tried being happy after Syahid died yesterday but things aren’t going my way for shit sake!
Word of advice.. get a guard gator to protect your home late at night.

someone stole Choki……….. *sobs*
someone FUCKING STOLE CHOKI!…
*sniffs*CAN YOU FUCKING BELIEVE THAT??

something deep inside me died everyone. something terrible has happened and i couldn’t care less about anything else. Fuck the exams on monday. i don’t care. I know i didn’t see Choki die like i saw syahid but this feels 20x worse.

I’m not gonna hold back on my language so leave if you please.
So my lil Brother told me how Choki was gone and i was thinking this might be another trick like when my brother told me Choki drowned 2 weeks ago which also hurt afucking lot. I went outside to find he wasn’t fucking kidding. *sniffs*

Why she had to go? i don’t know!!! she wouldn’t say……

shiiit ehh. im feeling so fucked up right now.
..how i long for yesterday!!
THIS SONG FUCKING APPLIES TO EVERYTHING!

I then went and started to think like a box turtle. I searched everywhere i would expect Choki would hide if she were to escape eventhough i know she could not have escaped on her own. IT MADE NO SENSE!
Choki escaping would be equivalent to you getting over a wall 3 metres high while on all four supporting 40% of your weight on a shell on your back which would fucking stump your flexibility. It made no sense at all…. no sense at all….
Either something or someone took her out or she miraculously teleported to some EFFING turtle land where all the turtles go. I hope it was the latter tho…
I can’t help but think what anyone else would and could do to her. Pessimistic is on overdrive.. );

i feel like an ass who would win the grand prize in a fucking worst pet owner competition. I’d probably fucking win that competition 10 consecutive times in a row if not more.

I know me cats wouldn’t harm the turtle as they don’t care much for a big rock as i’ve tried testing before. And it would take a fucking steroid cat to get Choki out and about. I doubt we have one of those fucking things anywhere here. We don’t have dogs anywhere here and why would a dog go for a turtle when we have cats and chickens a few feet away. And noo. no monkeys fucking live ard here.
I can imagine the most probable scenario of what happened tho. Some bitch ass selfish kids came over to our place when noone was ard to look at the chicks and chickens or whatnot. Then those assholes saw where i placed Choki to bask in the morning. Fucking kids went and stole me turtle!! as adult turtles are hard to get. Choki is probably as old as they fucking are..And now i lost 2 lovely animals within 24 hours. FUCK!!!!
They say everything happens for a reason so what the reason for this?!?
Karma? I can’t find anything i did to anyone that would result in anything like this. I don’t go ard looking for trouble and i’d certainly wouldn’t kick a stray cat. Maybe it’s not karma? maybe all this WILL effin result in karma as to say something good will happen and all this will get a happy ending as television had led me to believe. If tv has thought me anything, It’s that there will never be any unfinished business. Either i’d save Choki from mario’s stupid turtle stomping or I’ll unsuspectingly meet Choki in 10 years time and we finish all unfinished business then. I hope the TV won’t let me down too. That would hurt. I’ve already lost trust in everyone living 600metres from my house excluding some.

If all this a part of karma, then yeaa I’m sorry everyone. seriously am. Actually im still sorry even if it’s not because of karma. Don’t take away anything i love anymore please…. I’m sorry. a thousand billion apologies. I hope you all forgive me too yes. For my language and/or anything I’ve done wrong to yous all.

All i can do now is hope karma will get to those fuckers who stole Choki too.
I hope they’re at least taking care of Choki. GAWDD. They wouldn’t know how to take care of turtle!! Close to everyone i know don’t even know what household food could kill a turtle..*sobs* What if they feed the turtle some cheese or milk??. gaspp. I hope Choki is all right. TURTLES NEED CALCIUM PEOPLE …CALCIUM. SHELL=BONE=ALOT OF CALCIUM!!

the best i could hope was that a couple of underground animal rescue squad came and took Choki away to a better place where the grass is green and the turtles are pretty.
I always wanted to be the one to set Choki free so even that thought stings a little. shit ehh.

I love my mom. She was there when i needed someone to hug. She offered to buy me a rabbit or a guinea pig because she couldn’t bear to see me soo sad. I can’t think to replace Choki right now but it’s the thought that counts.
She did the same thing 5..6 years ago when this burung pipit with a broken wing died. i was a tiny kid and seeing something die when you try hard to heal it was heartbreaking. this is when animal loving is at it’s worst.
MAMA, I LOVE YOU.

-vuxpyra//*sniffs*

Advertisements

3 thoughts on “Oh, i believe in yesterday..

  1. sorry for your loss.
    lets go do something silly and then laugh at ourselves like silly little 3 year olds and sing cuppycake song. or not.
    feel better soon, yes?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s