Acceptance

Guess what, i’ve got my offers already!

well i’m still waiting on Royal Holloway but to be honest, i think i’ve made my decision already. I think my firm is going to be Hull university with an insurance of Aberystwyth. (i know it says conditional but hull just wants a copy of my certs and aber just needs a deposit)

Basically, how i came to that conclusion is, Hull seems to be the place i would hate the least! Royal is dead struck in london so that would be expensive and i’d like to save my kidney for a rainy day. Stirling wants me to take IELTS even-though i’ve gotten A1s for my O level english twice. Plus the weather is shit and its in the middle of nowhere.

“in the middle of nowhere, shit happens”

Aber seems to be a good place but its too high North for my taste. They did send me a personal handwritten letter complimenting my Personal Statement and telling me how i’d fit in well. But as i was choosing universities, Hull has always been in my top five from the start so no regrets.

I am worried about leaving, and how it’ll impact my relationship with Bibi. I know if you care about someone enough, this won’t pose that difficult of an obstacle but it still bums me out thinking about it. I really wish we could end up studying somewhere close that would solve everything.

work has been smooth sailing lately. I basically finished a month worth of episodes a week ago and Royy came back to work so thats a lot of work off my back. It feels as though for the past month, i’ve been doing all the grunt work and i’m glad that’s over.

I did have to do an impromptu report today. Royy was supposed to do the Wednesday Belait report but he had a doctors appointment so i had to swoop in and be the hero and do the report. I swear i’m almost not nervous anymore going on air.

-vuxpyra//

The Big Picture

You know what joke i’ve been waiting to use? I’ve only just thought of it just yesterday but it’s been killing me inside not being able to use it anytime soon so i’ll just let you guys in on it.

Basically, I can’t wait to go back to school, simply just so i can fail my first test, turn to my friend and be like

 

Teach me how to Study, teach me, teach me how to study

Best motivation to go back to school.

But seriously, i can’t wait to go back to school. When i see pictures of all my old classmates doing things they wouldn’t have imagined doing, i feel a little jealous. Maybe a little sad even. But either way, i’m pretty sure i wanna quit work in the near future.

Working in RTB is a good experience, believe me. became friends with a lot of great people, Talked to some important people, got a lot of free gifts, went to  some exclusive places, met a lot of interesting people from all over the world, learned a lot of new things and made a lot of good memories. plus, this might sound a little douchebagish but wearing the RTB badge does feel nice and it gives you a sense of elitism and people treat you like someone important some of the time. The money isn’t bad either.

But the perks are only out there in the real world. In RTB itself, it’s a huge tangled mess of office politics and you just don’t know who you can trust and who’s gonna stick it in your back. Some of you probably don’t know but i really hate getting caught up in office politics. gossiping, backstabbing, cliques, bitches, twofaced – these are the kind of words i don’t like being surrounded by.

Right now, i’m searching for anyone who wants to work in radio because hopefully, I’ll apply my HECAS this march and be back in the classroom by the end of this year.

In other news, It’s lee’s birthday so happy 19th Lee. This will probably sound gay especially because Lee sounds like a guy’s name but you’re one of the important people in my life and i’ll gladly let you borrow my color pencils anytime (i hate doing that)

In other other news, my black wall is now a giant chalk board

and my room’s a giant mess to boot

Granted, my baby (who at the moment i really miss) did most (…all) of the drawings but it’s still a work in progress. i’ll work on it when i feel like it.

-vuxpyra//

I think im bipolar

Some days, I think I should be on some kind of medication, whether it be for bipolar disorder, ADHD, anxiety or maybe even depression maybe.

I guess you could say I show symptoms for a lot of them. for example

1. I get horrible mood swings and would get depressed by the simplest things,
2. I am usually either very happy or very unhappy and rarely in between,
3. During my high points, I get excessively hyperactive and lose focus,
4. at the same time I would get anxious, my heart would speed up and I’ll start to feel warm,
5. When something goes wrong, and I start to get upset, I will then get upset at everything and everyone especially myself also,
6. I can be very think skinned at one time and then extremely sensitive the next.

Whatever it might be, I’ve sort of grown to deal with my emotions as I grew up by working it out in my head. I mean I don’t particularly suffer from my erratic emotions but they just make things difficult. And even if you notice it in real life (which people rarely do), I’d just go “well yeah, I’m a Gemini” and I guess that does play a major role in this. Geminis are the children of the zodiac, the twins. I’m two sides of the same coin.

Practically speaking though, maybe I really should look into something that’ll mellow me out more. I’m doing fine but sometimes I give myself too much unnecessary stress.

 

-vuxpyra//

 

Sidewinded

Remember in F.R.I.E.N.D.S where rachel has just started working late and concentrating on her career that she started to make Ross feel neglected? Well, that has nothing to do with what I’m gonna talk about but that was a sad scene.

Okay, maybe it’s sort of related in the sense that I’m neglecting everyone around me especially my friends, family (work friends don’t count) and most importantly, myself. I never seem to go to sleep early anymore, I haven’t finished my UCAS, I haven’t emailed MIPR, I missed my first due date last week, i haven’t spent quality time with my family in a very long time and to top it off, I’m spending more money than I can afford to.

I’m supposed to go to KL with the guys for New Year but I’m seriously thinking of skipping it because of the circumstances.

I want to start working hard on volunteering again. I talked to the guy in charge for the Turtle conservation center and we talked about doing turtle watches in Belait and he was all up for it. So now I need to find people who wants to join in the turtle watch and to be honest, fewer people wanted to join than I thought.

Also, a couple of months ago, I emailed CAS (Care and Action for Strays) asking them if they need a volunteer delegating in KB, and I finally got a reply today asking if I’m still interested! I’m very excited for this one.

Then, i really need to start my internship at MIPR, because that’s the one that really matters as it can persuade me whether to pursue a course in Zoology. Sometimes, i feel like quitting work and just concentrate in these things that i can add to my repertoire for university.

Speaking of work, I went to RTB,BSB mid November for a meeting with Mag, the head of Pilihan FM and it was pretty fun. Shes’ giving the KB team a lot of hope for next year. Meaning, there’s gonna be a lot more programmes from KB. i.e our weekly report (which is usually on Saturday noon) is gonna be extended to twice a week on Wednesdays and Saturdays noons! and if the time slot isn’t enough, we can call for a split on the report for noon as well as afternoon around 2.30pm. This wouldn’t be such a big deal to me if on that same day Mag gave me the green light to air my voice on the radio which I did the week after and here’s the best part, the commission we get paid for going live, is going to be raised 200% plus ala ala we get paid twice as much for the same amount of work.

Another highlight is the fact that Royy, is gonna be one of the DJs for Pilihan Goldies starting 4th February. Anyway, I’m going to go live on air again next Saturday for the second time and I really need to get used to it. Last time, i was really nervous and you could tell on the radio.

 

- vuxpyra//

random post 3

I think i’m in a good place in my life right now. My chips feel like they’re falling in place at least close enough to where i want them to be.

I have a good job which gives me a lot of freedom, lets me travel around, socialise and also pays quite well, I’m surrounded by positive energy most of the day which helps a lot, i feel quite more independent than i was a few months back, i don’t have to trouble my mum as much, I’m mostly content with what i own, and i’m expected to get a scholarship next year to the UK.

Funny thing is if I’m so happy then why am i blogging?

It’s become apparent that over the past three years, i usually only blog during times of distress or trouble. i.e frequency of posts is inversely proportional to my life satisfaction. However nothing is the matter this time. I don’t get much conversational stimulation anymore and it’s relieving to have my mind picked, even if its by myself.

What with work taking up most of my time, i don’t really have time for anyone else. Everyone keeps asking for me and i feel bad every time i have to ditch them because i’m super tired. I barely have any time for my girlfriend let alone friends i’m not even close with. I especially feel bad for not talking to lee.

We made a promise just about over a year ago back when she just started school that i won’t let her change and we’d still keep talking. But things have sort of change.

I think a little saving grace is Maya from work. We usually just talk work but she has that upbeat you can talk to me about anything aura which feels like a breather. I’m a little impressed how i figured out her zodiac sign simply through her personality. I guess it’s because i read up a lot about aquariis (as well as all my compatible signs)

Which reminds me, A lot of people are leaving RTB KB next year so we’ve been doing a lot of auditions for part time reporters. Deep down i hope we get a Libra on the team or maybe even an aries. Lets just hope.

 

-vuxpyra//